Okay, so I know I shouldn't find this as funny as I seriously do, because, yes, fourth wall violation and everything. Actually, I'll cut it, because I'm sure people will be squicked. ( BEHIND THIS CUT, THERE IS NO FOURTH WALL. I AM NOT KIDDING. )

In other news, this is my 350th post. That is 345 more posts than I ever thought I'd make!

ETA: In other other news, I am turning off custom comment pages, because a) people hate them and b) this way I can use my thread unfolder! Everybody wins!

Hey, just ftr, there is one thing that will still make me read Due South fic: if someone writes men getting pregnant. DS flisters, please to keep this in mind. If there is ever F/K mpreg, let me know, okay? Great!

I'm not going to even ( talk about bandom mpreg. )

Ummmmm what else is new. I had kind of an amazingly ridiculously awesome weekend that ( I'm not sure I can even sum up. )

I bought ( ANOTHER WOLF T-SHIRT. )

No, but back to Pete Wentz. Have you heard his singing? It is MAGNIFICENTLY WRETCHED. Sometimes I like to think about him and his rocker boot and the increasing levels of absurdity his hair aspires to and basically his entire existence and then I like to lie down in a darkened room and laugh for a year or two.

Bandom, you are all my dreams come true. Or, ( well. ) Fandom: I will never run out of hearts for you. ♥ ♥

beingothrwrldly and kissingchaos9 are coming to see me tomorrow. That's right, get jealous.

Mmmmmm Cobra Starship, why are you so amazing? This album, you guys, this album. Every song makes me want to dance. I feel like baby Ryan Ross listening to My Chemical Romance. By which I mean that they make me want to daaaaaaance. I want to throw a dance party called No Seriously Viva la Fucking Cobra (Dance, Motherfuckers).

So I've decided that Hel and I weren't wrong about there being something mildly demeaning about meeting your bandom love objects. It's - it's not what you want it to be. It couldn't be, and I don't think it's really anyone's fault. "Hi, you mean the world to me, and you don't know my name. Sign my Latin textbook!" It's just an odd situation, you know? I'm so used to thinking of these guys as, honestly, very much my equal - people whose emotions I can get inside of, people who I can identify with and characterize and talk about casually - that suddenly being thrown into a situation where there's such a clear power and investment differential is kind of disconcerting. It hurts your pride.

IDK. IDK, IDK, life is a funny thing, being a fan is a funny thing. Viva la Cobra. I slept through my only class of the day, my roommate went to class and left her laptop at home, life could be a lot worse.

For some reason, I always need to hear a song a whole bunch of times before I love it. I don't know why, and there are rare exceptions - I loved Belle & Sebastian's Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying the first time I heard it – but no FOB lyric has ever applied to me as well as "the songs you grow to like never stick at first." It took me, like, MONTHS to love MCR, and now I adore them unreasonably. (Uh, MCR's music, that is. I wrote a huge schmoopy GWay Love Post before I'd even seen LotMS, so I think you can judge for yourself just how fast I fell for those children themselves.)

Anyway, here's what I'm saying: Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year. Hi, I love this song. I LOVE it. I always prefer songs where Pete talks about The Band to songs where Pete talks about That Bitch, but man, I really really love this song. I might have to add it to my list of Reasons I Love It When Pete Writes Meta, along with Thriller, Saturday (although, didn't Patrick write that? Whatevs), and that one buzznet entry. Oh, and every Q&A ever, of course. PETE WENTZ. SOMETIMES YOU ARE MY FAVORITE. ♥ ♥ ♥

Yeah, I don't know. I'm pretty much at the point of just wanting to type the lyrics of that song over and over instead of making a coherent blog post. Man, I'm so overinvested in Pete Wentz, it's kind of a problem. Except for how I love it. I think a lot of people were blown into bandom by big winds in their personal lives, high seas and tempests – God knows I was. And I'm not sure how I found comfort and meaning in some dirty shitty boys from Chicago, but I really did. I don't mean to turn my LJ into a constant stream of OMG DEFENSIVE, at all, and I'll try to keep quiet after this, but – this fandom means a lot to me, and it genuinely hurts when people piss on it, or say it's okay to be into it as long as we know the music's shitty, or that the boys are insincere, or whatever. I don't know. The music – uh, whatever, I don't feel like arguing music taste. I love the music, that's the relevant part, I guess. Most of us love the music. And we sure as hell love the people who make it, and as much as we mock them (AND WE DO, bandom takes itself FAR less seriously than most of the fandoms I've been in!) we genuinely respect them. We love them without irony. And getting harshed on by people who ARE ALSO FANNISH, by people who, hello, write gay porn about Stargate Atlantis (or Harry Potter, or the Sentinel, or any of our other thoroughly ridiculous obsessions) feels a little. I don't know. It gets a tiny bit less funny, after, like, the fiftieth time.

This all goes back to what I've always said about overinvestment being the whole point of what we do, fannishly, and about how I think it's so much more important what you get out of something artistically than whether it's good according to some empirical standard. I have just as little interest in being attacked for being a Fall Out Boy fan as I do in being attacked for being an SGA fan, or a slash fan, or a romance novel fan. All my meta is one big meta! Pete Wentz, let's get together sometime and chat, I think it'd be a good time.

Whatever, I probably shouldn't post this, but my roommates are out pursuing athletic interests while I'm lazing around in an armchair, and mooching someone else's internet. So!

P.S. I was so overwhelmed by the response to my post about the stagegay that I can only write about it in small text, because I don't want to get weepy AGAIN, like I did about forty times during that wank when I saw how lovely and wonderful and intelligent my fandom was being. ILU, my angels. Thank you so much for every single comment. I'm still planning to reply to all of them when I get a more consistent wireless signal. Oh my fandom, I have so many <3s for you. <333333333333333333333333

So you may have heard that some people disapprove of stagegay in bandom. I do not! ( My thoughts on this, let me show you them. )

So one thing about being separated from everyone at DFest was that it meant I ended up making friends with all the little fifteen year old girls who were standing next to me, and I just wanted to say this: bandom, I think we don't give teenies enough love. They were so clueless and sweet, and some of them had come from Ireland to see the show, and they were sad the Hushies weren't there! I brought up some Very Popular Fannish Opinions, and they were AMAZED and DELIGHTED. I was all, "Vicky-T is really hot!" and they were like, "oh my gosh, I think so TOO!" and then I was like, "I think Patrick is a god," and they were like "OH MANS YES," and then I said I thought it was cool that My Chem gay it up even while they date ladies, just to push comfort zones, and they were like "oh WOW, I never thought of it that way, you are so right!!" It was awesome. For all the downsides of the feral side of bandom, and oh, there are many, I still think it's miraculous and charming to watch a whole generation of girls grow up thinking that boys kissing is hot, instead of gross, and that engaging actively to build communities around the things you love is a cool thing to do. Hey. This one goes out to the teenies. ♥ ♥ ♥

P.S. Uhm, remember how I said I'd reply to comments and email and check my flist and shit? Ahahahaha. Maybe tomorrow! *goes back to sleep*

P.P.S. I can't stop thinking about the fact that my concert clothes (including SOCKS) are loose in my luggage, which is God knows where. I hope no poor airline attendant has to open that deliciousness. I may have to fumigate the suitcase. DDD:

You know what I realized today? All of my sadness about fic that breaks the Pete/Patrick OTP comes from a place of being sad for Pete. Patrick? Patrick could be happy with tons of people! He's an awesome person, and awesome people can date him. But if Patrick's with someone else, then Pete is all alone, or dating people who are horrible for him, because that's what Pete DOES. And if Pete's with someone else – actually, who writes serious relationship fic where Pete's with someone else? Pete/Ryan and Pete/Mikey are both usually written as temporary pairings, and I have no problem reading them as such, but ultimately, I feel like Ryan ends up with Keltie and Mikey ends up with Alicia and Pete ends up sad and alone and Patrickless. Oh, Peeeete. Come here so I can cuddle your sad self. D:

I invite people to propose Pete long-term-relationship pairings that do not make me want to cry. Go on, do it, I dare you. MAYBE Pete/Gerard! I could be convinced of Pete/Gerard, I think.

In much more exciting news, the stars are falling tonight! I'm going to be heading out to a field at my old high school after midnight with a couple friends and some blankets. There's no moon, so it should be a good one. I strongly recommend to anyone in the northern hemisphere that you at least set your alarm to stick your head outside sometime before dawn, because it's a pretty amazing thing to watch. They get up to about 80 an hour before sunrise.

Given Boldthrough '07, I think we should talk about legal issues regarding underage characters. NOTE THAT I AM NOT A LAWYER. Also note that I understand that LJ and SA are private organizations [ETA: and therefore can delete whatever the hell they want, legally], that they are under tremendous pressure, and that the law is kind of confusing sometimes, and covering your ass is understandable.

( That said. )

1. Everyone, why am I such a giant perv?

So for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I was talking to shoemaster about ( Patrick being really freaky in bed. )

(P.S. This is why I do not want bandom dudes/ladies* to have livejournals, okay? DON'T GOOGLE YOURSELVES, SAYS MIKEYWAY.)

*You know, dudes, ladies, dudes who look like ladies...

2. Fandom, why you gotta make me so sad?

I hate to beat a dead horse, but as I seem to be doing with every wank these days, I find myself coming back to the issue of language use. I'm sorry to be boring, but oh man, it just keeps being TRUE. We are an internet community. Language is all we have. It MATTERS what you call your challenge. It matters even to people who aren't members of your community.

( The thing that really pisses me off... )

A lot of other people have said it better, but I think it's worth saying anyway. Because language is all we have. And because it matters.

3. Bandom, why so consistently amaaaazing?

Seriously. This is a message going out to anyone who's not in bandslash, but still has me friended (uhm, also, I am SO SORRY): THIS FANDOM IS RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME. Recently, I keep running into people from other RPS fandoms squeeing about their own little moments of canon gay, and I just. Guys. WHAT.

Yaaaay, snap cup! Let's max out the comments on this bitch. :D I'm here.

ETA: No, seriously. I am refreshing for more people to comment on, but there is no one I know! GO PUT YOUR NAME IN, YOU GUYS. NO EXCUSES.

In the most recent update at Fandom Wank, the OP says:

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that the Pötterdämmerung is sending wanks ahead of it, paving the way for its coming. And then it will descend upon a fandom ripe with paranoia and ready to go up at the smallest spark.

And hahahahahaha, oh God, it's kind of true. *cries* Last week, my roommate asked if I was going to go watch the House season finale, and I just GROANED, because – hiatus is only just beginning, y'all! School is letting out! The last HP book is being released! And that's coming after FanLib, the Mary Jane maquette, and Strikethrough '07. This is going to be an interesting summer to be a (LJ-based, slash, media) fangirl, I have a feeling. In the "interesting times" sense of the word.

Remember a while back when I said I wrote a long-ass meta post and LJ ate it? Well, I'm not going to retype it, because a) I'm lazy, and b) I have a feeling it might have been slightly inflammatory, and I'm not really interested in that nonsense. Everything I write lately comes out clumsy, which is probably a result of finals. But here's the link I would have ended it with: metabib. Because Due South is an old fandom – in terms of age of fandom, age of participants, and participants' level of fannish experience – and because bandslash isn't, and because that adjustment has been a little weird for me. It seems to be a lot of people's first fandoms, actually, or at least their first outside of HP, which is not a very rooted community. And hey, I believe in knowing your history.

Also, GIP. I love gandolforf's icons THISMUCH.

Uhhhhm what else is new. Let's see. My absolute favorite thing in this world is really well-written fic with a wretched, clichéd premise, but THAT'S not news. See: Take Center Stage And Step Up to Save The Last Dance (He Was A Sk8er Boi). GOD, YES. I want all the fic in the WORLD that is based on awful teen movies and romance novels! I could read well-executed clichéfic for the rest of my life, exclusively, and I'm not even ashamed.

OH HMMM MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I'M EXCITED ABOUT, BUT IDK WHAT IT IS. HUH. SOMETHING - THAT IS HAPPENING IN LESS THAN A WEEK? SOMETHING INVOLVING INTERNET FRIENDS AND EMO BOYS AND SHENANIGANS? IT IS ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE HONESTLY, PERHAPS I WILL REMEMBER LATER.

A couple of notes:

1. We... win? *tentative Paul Gross arms*


2. You should still join fandom_counts, because, well. History does tend to repeat itself. Also, it's fun to watch the member count climb!


3. My birthday was made of awesome! I had good food with great friends and got an adorable haircut in an interesting neighborhood I'd never been to before. A++ all around. \o/

And now: ( bandslash content, with extra tinhat action! )

So, this is fun. While I'm pretty sure none of my interests would have gotten me into trouble, I've still gone ahead and deleted all of them in the name of solidarity. Well – almost all.



I do have all my old interests pasted in a sticky note on my computer, so if this all blows over by tonight, I can add them again in about three seconds. Here's hoping!

Here are four things, and an unpopular fannish opinion. Also I am really behind on emails, sry, don't hate me. I'm behind on schoolwork too, if that helps, ahahaha sob. And I'm all sick and gross and sniffly, and I wore a cute dress today and got rained on. Let's talk about band boys!

1. I don't think I ever mentioned this here, but it continues to crack my shit up: I went to class the afternoon I posted my Gerard Way Love Manifesto, and found that greyandgrey had copied Gerard and written "Hi!" on her hand like the tremendous, wonderful dork she is. Amaaazing.

1b. I also don't think I've ever mentioned here that I am currently taking a class on Sexuality in the Classical World with both inminiature and greyandgrey. Yesterday's class was all about pornography. YES. Yes, imagine that, please.

2. Am I seriously the only person on LJ who lists JWalk/Greta as an interest? That shit is not on.

3. I'm sure someone's proposed this before, but Spencer and Patrick totally go shoe shopping together, right? I mean, obviously.

4. I had a revelation about me and my OTPs yesterday! It turns out that my real, die-hard OTPs are almost always pairings who are both charmed and annoyed by each other. Fraser/Kowalski! McKay/Sheppard! Pete/Patrick! I can also read and enjoy pairings who just basically like each other a lot, but when I can get it, irritation is my favorite dynamic. And then they have angry sex!! You guys, here's where I'm going with this: I love Brendon/Spencer kind of a lot.

( And a possibly unpopular fannish opinion re:Pete's cock )

It's times like this, when I'm curled up in bed with an empty pizza box* at 4:30 in the morning, avoiding writing a paper, that I realize just how much of a college student I really am. SIGH.

*Yeah, literally. I mean. The trash can is really far away? /o\

So hey, you know what I've been thinking about? Unironic love! Because, okay, let's just admit it: a lot of my fannish love is at least partly ironic. (Paul Gross and Ryan Ross, I'm looking at you.) I mock because I love, I promise! But there's also some of my love that is totally, completely unironic, and, well. You know who gets a lot of my unironic love right now? GERARD WAY.

Yeah, this is the ( Gerard Way Love Manifesto. )

Oh my God, that was really embarrassingly sincere. So, talk to me about unironic love, my pretties! Tell me about the last time you really seriously found yourself admiring Pete Wentz's literary skillz, or how much you would honest to God give Paul Gross a blowjob if the opportunity presented itself, or how Ryan Ross is actually kind of a misunderstood genius. I am listening! I will not judge you very much!